7 Dream Collaborations That Will Never Happen

Lately, it seems like anything is possible in pop music. A$AP Rocky and Sam Smith dropped a surprise “I’m Not The Only One” remix on us last week; Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett’s collaborative jazz album, Cheek To Cheek, is set for release on September 23; and it looks like a collaboration between Drake and Chris Brown will actually see the light of day.

In other words, when it comes to musical hookups, you have license to dream big.

To that end, here are seven pop collaborations that would be majorly flawless, even if there’s slim-to-no chance that they’ll ever, ever, ever happen. And no, it’s not because any of these people are dead — don’t expect any Hilary Duff x founding father of utilitarian thought Jeremy Bentham on here — it’s just that any number of extenuating circumstances would stand in their way. But, whatever! Dream big, right?

1. Justin Timberlake x *NYSNC

Yes, Justin brought his “Bye Bye Bye” buds onstage during his Video Vanguard medley at the 2013 VMAs, but that was a mini-reunion, not a legit collaboration. I’m talking a full album of new material under the *NSYNC moniker — hell, even a single or two! — but something tells me JT is far from ready to do that yet. The best we can hope for right now is some kind of Bell Biv DeVoe-style fraction of the iconic boy band.

 2. Miley Cyrus x Kathleen Hanna

OK, so this is more of a “dream collaboration that might some day happen but I’m not getting my hopes up just yet.” Yes, the Julie Ruin frontwoman (and former member of Le Tigre and Bikini Kill) tweeted that she had an “idea for an album that only [Miley Cyrus is] daring enough to make. But, in the words of Whitney Houston, I wanna see the receipts.

3. Lil’ Kim x Nicki Minaj

Considering the fact that Kim dropped not one, but two Nicki diss tracks in the last month — “Identity Theft” and her “Flawless (Remix)” remix — I’d say this feud is still on.

4. Britney Spears x Cher

Imagine how successful a joint Vegas residency between the “Work Bitch” singer and her legendary pop forbearer — whose own Vegas residency, Cher At The Colosseum, grossed over $97 million over the course of its three-year run — would be. Like, it would literally put Bob Mackie’s great-great-great-great-grandchildren through private grad school at 22nd-century tuition rates.

5. FKA twigs x Lana Del Rey x Lorde x Charli XCX x Sky Ferreira x BANKS

No matter how perfect and #dark this alt-pop princess collaboration would be (working title, “Lady Nightshade”) there are just too many moving pieces. Oh my god, that’s the oldest, boring-est reason I’ve ever given for anything ever — but it’s true! Stay practical, kids.

6. Taylor Swift x Karen Finley

Because I would literally sell all of my possessions to begin crowd-funding a Kickstarter begging the “Shake It Off” singer to shout “Tales Of Taboo” lyrics like “You don’t own me [REDACTED]/ You [REDACTED] [REDACTED]/ You wanna [REDACTED] my [REDACTED]/ Well, let me [REDACTED] your [REDACTED]” over a sick club beat.

7. Yoko Ono x Waka Flocka Flame